Check out this video for some rockin’ copyright-free tunes and some speedy pretzel-making! Notice that I carefully selected the pretzel that didn’t come apart in the water bath to feature in the boiling section of the video.
One of the things that has kept me sane during this pandemic is watching Pacers basketball, and I must say that I am committed. I am always a bit of a pawn to my emotions, but that seems to be especially true when I find myself shouting at Goga Bitadze when he doesn’t jump for the rebound or when I angry-cry when they lose in a close game. I’m not sure why I’ve gotten so invested in the outcome of these games. Is it helping me to fill the hole in my life left by the lack of a show choir competition season? Is it an expression of my love of Indianapolis? Is it an interest in the fashionable clothes offered at the Pacers Team Store? Hard to say. What I do know is that I am left either elated or emotionally devastated after every game.
It’s becoming a problem.
But it is something to think about that has nothing to do with the ‘rona, my disappointment with the state of the world, or my various anxieties about the future of the earth.
While the Pacers are my primary fixation, I do like other sports, and particularly enjoy big events and sports-related traditions. I am a Notre Dame fan, after all, and traditions are more important than winning at Notre Dame.
Except baseball. Baseball is so boring. They just… stand around?
As a part of our general social distancing, my man-friend and I are not planning to host a superbowl party this year, which is really a shame, as we have for the past several years. Most of our friends are musicians, teachers, or young people who refer to the superbowl as the sportsball game and show up for the commercials and to analyze the half-time show. They generally leave before the game is over because we all have school tomorrow, and I fall asleep on the couch with the cat, but it’s a good time and an opportunity to cook for people that I love. I’m missing hosting things.
HOWEVER, these pretzels are a crowd-pleaser and are sure to vanish quickly whether you are cooking for a crowd or just one bacon-crazed man-friend. I may or may not have staged a picture with a plate of pretzels planning to take one bite, but then found myself mindlessly devouring two crispy pretzels while shouting at the Pacers to GET A REBOUND FOR GOD’S SAKE.
This recipe is pretty easy! It is also great if you want to add your own twist or flavor profile. Some ideas:
- Stuff with pepperoni, basil, and sundried tomatoes, and top with parmesan cheese. Dip in tomato sauce.
- Stuff with ham and swiss. Dip in grainy mustard.
- Make them plain, and dip them in buffalo chicken dip or bleu cheese.
- Stuff with dried apricots soaked in whiskey and mixed with some butter and brown sugar, and dip them in marshmallow fluff!
Go crazy. Calories don’t count when you’re watching the game.
Jalapeno Bacon Pretzels with Beer Cheese
For the dough:
- 1 1/2 cups warm (110 to 115 degrees F) water
- 2 teaspoons kosher salt
- 1 package dry active yeast
- 1 tablespoon sugar
- 4 1/2 cups bread flour
- 2 ounces butter, melted
- Vegetable oil, for pan
- 10 cups water
- 1/3 cup baking soda
- 1 large egg yolk, beaten
- Sea salt to taste
- ½ pound bacon, chopped and fried
- Pickled jalapenos, chopped fine and pressed to remove excess liquid
For the beer cheese:
- ¼ cup butter
- ¼ cup flour
- ½ teaspoon garlic powder
- ½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon ground mustard
- ⅛ teaspoon chipotle pepper or any other pepper that floats your boat
- 1 cup milk
- Half a beer
- 8 oz velveeta or cheddar cheese
- ½ cup mozzarella cheese shredded
- ½ cup gruyere or swiss cheese, shredded
In the bowl of your stand mixer, combine the yeast, warm water, and sugar. Mix it up a little and let it stand for about ten minutes, or until it gets a little foamy. Add all of the remaining ingredients, saving the butter for last, except for the jalapenos and bacon. Mix on low with the dough until all of the flour has been picked up from the side of the bowl. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead for about five minutes, or until it gets smooth and elastic. Oil the bowl of the stand mixer, chuck the dough back in, turn it around a little bit to coat it with oil, cover, and leave to rise for about 45 minutes or until it is doubled in size. It will rise quickly and efficiently.
In the meantime, cook your bacon and chop your jalapenos. Make sure to press the jalapenos thoroughly with a paper towel. You don’t want to add any extra moisture to your pretzel dough.
When the dough has doubled, put a big pot of water on to boil and measure out a third of a cup of baking soda, setting it aside.
Preheat the oven to 425.
Turn out your dough, cut into 8 equal-ish pieces, and shape into pretzels, using the method demonstrated in the video above. They don’t have to be perfect, just do your best. Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper, spray with cooking spray, place the pretzels on the sheet and leave them to rise for another 20 minutes while the water comes to a roiling boil.
Add the baking soda to the water. One or two at a time, boil the pretzels. Only leave them in the water for about 45 seconds each. They will start to puff up a little. Set them back on the lined baking sheet. If they come apart a little, it’s ok! Just mush them back into shape on the baking tray and pretend you did it on purpose.
Brush them with the egg wash, sprinkle some sea salt on them, and top with a little cheese. Bake them for about 20 minutes or until they are brown and crispy. Leave them to cool on a rack while you make your cheese sauce.
In a medium saucepan over medium heat, melt your butter. Add the flour and stir to make a roux. Add the milk and whisk until combined, being sure to whisk out any flour lumps. Add the spices and beer. When it is close to simmering, add your cheese. Stir until the cheese is melted and it bubbles a little and gets thick. If the sauce starts to get too thick for dipping as it cools, just zap it in the microwave a little. Serve with the pretzels and enjoy the game.
